i’ve been 25 years old for a week…
So I turned 25 last week and yes, I do feel different now. I feel older, more connected, more aligned and more relaxed. In the best way possible, I feel locked in to my life. I still have a few moments where I experience a bit of confusion and doubt but I think now I recognize that no matter what, I will overcome all doubt & that life is working out for me better than I can even see. I think this birthday felt like a moment of humbling clarity.
Now I know it looks like I abandoned the 90 Day Challenge. In some ways I have - I mean I clearly do not blog everyday. I think I have learned a little bit more about myself and instead of pressuring myself to complete my checklist to its highest degree, I find pockets of my day where I can emulate the feelings of being productive, which then of course, allows me to complete my goals with less feelings of burden. Even though I didn’t stick to the regiment of the 90 Day Challenge, I feel like I’ve found ways to work towards my goals that better align with who I am as a person and creator.
I have made small tweaks to my lifestyle that allows for me to work towards my goals AND have a life outside of them. I don’t know about you, but the whole notion of “nothing matters” is really sticking with me lately. I feel this sense of what are even doing here more often than not, which strangely, has brought on an even healthier relationship with my goals and the things I want to achieve. There’s less pressure in my day and I finally feel completely in tune with what I truly want, which is peace.
All this is to say is that there is a balance that can be sought & found. It’s not about having a rigid schedule or not. It’s not about abandoning your way of life and adopting a new one. I think it’s about leaning more towards the middle and finding a balance between doing the things you love (& not love) to do and also being okay with being. Finding your self worth in productivity and doing can lead us to cycles of needing the external world to prove our worth and value. Perhaps practicing our spirituality in a way that is just conducive to us, is the most productive thing we can do.
It’s a paradox right… like the more we let go the more we receive. The more we surrender the more we experience. The more we express gratitude, the more reasons we have to be grateful. HOWEVER, the more we search for the result of letting go, surrendering and expressing gratitude, the more we are tied to the outcome rather than the experience. All this to say… live in the moment. Fill your space and life with items, people and moments that represent love to you. Don’t be afraid of growing up. Be excited about the fact that everything really does improve. Even if you are experiencing pain and grief right now, you may find comfort knowing that whatever confusion or fog you are feeling, you will overcome it. You will overcome whatever it is that you are going through and you will find clarity. 25 is teaching me that life is only as beautiful as you see it; I want to experience beauty, therefore I will begin by experiencing life.
