Day Five - 09.16.2022

I needed a break yesterday - I am writing this on September 17th at 9:52 am reflecting.

I think one of the most important things I learned was the constant go, go, go was self-imposed and deeply rooted in how society sees success. I couldn’t work out today, I could barely work and I think because it’s my time of the month, I just feel everything. I cried at Gilmore Girls, prioritized rest and tried to let my body recoup.

Today I plan to do slow activities and catch up on random tasks that I couldn’t finish this week. I really want a fresh start next week and don’t want the feelings and emotions of this past week to seep in. If you have been reading the blog, you may know that this week was filled with understanding, stepping back, stepping forward to just step back again… it’s been a hell of a week… I am tired.

I am a little drained even as a write this and hoping that I can get better at putting my thoughts to words to actions. I want to be able to communicate my pain and insecurity in a healthy manner and I think the more candid I am on the blog, the more I can keep transmuting. I am feeling a bit sad and hopeless. I think the pain from my past is creeping up to me and while I can say that it’s “because of my period”, I feel like I need to value these memories and almost do something about it to let go. I’ll get more into this later this evening in my Day 6 post - but I wanted to just say, it’s ok to take a break, it’s ok if you are 100% all the time, it’s just ok to not be ok.