Day Two - 09.13.2022
So today started off really… sore. This Pilates challenge is no joke and honestly, I should have remembered from last year when I felt the same feeling (or lack thereof) in my legs. It was so hard for me to sleep last night too so I think that contributed to my anxiety and stress I felt today…
But let’s backtrack. I woke up and strangely went straight to my meditation corner and started meditating. I say its “strange” because I usually will think about it, contemplate and then force myself to meditate, but since it was 6:00 am and DARK, my body just decided that it needed it, I guess. I then wrote in my gratitude notebook, grabbed some coffee and embraced some much-needed silence and reflection.
However, my day took a swift turn, and I became really anxious over just being an entrepreneur and claiming that for myself. As you may know, I am actively manifesting the life and career of my dreams and in that, so many limiting beliefs about money, success, being good/pretty/intelligent/likeable enough started coming up. I just felt like my dreams were so out of reach and I went into “fixing” mode. I looked at my finances and tried to frantically make a business model that worked for me, but I kept getting stuck and anxious about the future. For a good four hours, I felt hopeless. I felt dumb for even thinking I could manifest whatever I wanted - DESPITE THE FACT, I tell everyone on social media and my participants of my Healing Sessions the exact opposite, so of course, the feeling of being a complete fraud came up.
So, I paused. I set my alarm and went to sleep because I think I felt the feelings of being stressed so much (combined with lack of sleep + the new workout regime) that I just couldn’t deal. I woke up about 30 minutes later, and STRANGELY AGAIN, my body just rolled out my yoga mat and I began Tuesday’s Blogilates’ challenge. Obviously, moving your body is going to make you feel better because you’re allowing for your being to release any pent-up energy, so I hobbled over to the shower and rampaged my affirmations to the water. I firmly believe that water holds so much energy and when you speak to it, the frequency of the energy within water changes. So, I charged my shower water with positive intentions and when I opened the shower door, I said, “I am now stepping into the reality where I get what the fuck I want”. That was so helpful, and it literally turned the day around. I made some content for Tik Tok, reflected on my experience and then started conducting Healing Sessions. I then had an amazing business meeting with my PR girl, Amber and now I just feel so much more ready to take on this new chapter in my business.
So… takeaways:
Your feelings are meant to be felt. Manifesting = inner work and you may have days where you struggle to hold on to this new story of you so it’s important to honor the process and feel your feelings all the way through.
Take rest when you need it. I don’t do this enough and sometimes I feel like I am not truly living in the end when it comes to my business because my brain just does not want to turn off. So, I actively allow myself to recenter and reground so that I can feel well-rested. After all, there is only one of me and one of me needs to be healthy.
Ask yourself: How does it get better than this? When you do this, you’re acknowledging the pure beauty of the moment and almost prompting yourself + the Universe to show you how much better it truly gets (spoiler alert: it’s way better than we can even imagine)
Manifesting is so much fun. I love this journey and honestly, I am learning so much about myself every day. As I continue being the empowered spiritual entrepreneur that I am, I keep manifesting in so many amazing people that just GET IT. Amber, the AAVRANI team, my fiancé, my good friend Zenab (who designed this website) all help me in so many active and passive ways. I wouldn’t be where I am without them, and I just am so honored that I get to be surrounded by so much love.
All in all, very interesting day. This challenge is going to prove itself in the name right.
By,
Janani
